Primary Life

Well.. today is not so fine. as usual, friday is the most useless school day. i don't feel good today. i don't know why. maybe i know why, but i can't explain it.

last night, i had a nightmare. in that nightmare, suddenly my math teacher gave my class a very difficult test, and i could answer 2 questions only. actually, the test is very easy, but somehow i couldn't do it. that's the worst.

i woke up after that nightmare finished, and felt so bad. when i arrived at school, it's not getting better. such a boring day. such a plain day. i feel discomfort until now. could you imagine that!? one day full of boring, headache, stomachache, and discomforts!? i wanna scream out loud but i'm afraid i will disturb someone else.

oh.. i forget. today i reread my old post in this blog. wow. she doesn't like me. she's much much more cheerful, stupid, and doesn't care what others think. she looks happier.

but i don't want to back to that time, even though i in the past look much happier than i now. i don't wanna be that idiot girl. the girl who doesn't care about her future. the girl who doesn't know how important her steps for me.

i know it looks like blaming myself. but i always regret. alhough if i could, i don't want to go to that time to change myself. why? because there is no sureness i will be better than now

i don't want to back to that time. i just want to get that feeling again.

I can never get that same scene
or that feeling back again,
So I wonder if I'm just looking back
on my dream that shined in the past

Even though I've moved on to a new future
my sadness overflows and blots my heart
[This feeling] makes a person stop
and lose sight of [the future]

ashita no kioku - arashi

you understand my feeling, don't you?

Labels: daily, scream out

hi. again, i write this when i have to do my homework. but i really wanna write this.

it's like a miracle for me. but it's true! the name of all people i like is begin with 'Y'! don't believe it?

Yabu Kouta
well, i don't know why.. i don't know how.. but suddenly i fall in love with him. it's not normal for me. because he's not interesting at all, but i was interested in him. i wold not even look at him, if my sister didn't promote him to me.

he is the riida of Hey! Say! JUMP. he's also the member of Ya-ya-Yah when he was in junior high school with Yamashita Shoon, Yaotome Hikaru, and Ayukawa Taiyou (did i miss someone? maybe i missed many person).

oh yeah, his birthday is near me (he's born on 31 january, and i on 25. kyakyaaaa)

Yuto Nakajima
he is my first lover in Hey! Say! JUMP. why? because i have watched him in Nobuta wo Produce, and he played as kame's brother. he was really cute in that dorama. and he grows up as a handsome boy.

you know, first you see yuto, you will think he is soooooo nice. especially if he doesn't do make up. he looks like an angel. well.. not an angel. but someone who can be trusted.

Yukihiro Awaji
first japanese star i love! YUKIIIIII!!! kyaaaaaaaaaa!! i know he's not handsome, but i don't love someone because their face.

YOU MUST BE KNOW HIM! he is the drummer of L'Arc~en~Ciel. aaargh.. i don't know what should i say!!? i'm kind of speechless now. aaaarrrgh! i love him too much!

Yuri Chinen
he is also the member of Hey! Say! JUMP! he is 2nd the youngest member of that band. he loves ohno satoshi (the riida of ARASHI). and make nino jealous on him. jahahahaha.

i don't love him, just like him (i can't love him. he looks like a girl). he's so cute. actually, he's too cute.

Yamada Ryousuke
he is also the member of Hey! Say! JUMP. i can't love him too. he's too beautiful!

Yaotome Hikaru
he is also the member of Hey! Say! JUMP (oh gosh.. why do i like HSJ!?) he is yabu's friend, and always seemed with yabu besides him. i think he is yabu's bestfriend, because they have been friends for such a long time.

when he was a child, he's sooooooooooo cute! much much more cute than chinen! YOU HAVE TO SEE HIM!

Yamashita Tomohisa
YOU MUST KNOW HIM! IT'S YAMAPI! first time, i love him. but when i know something's not good about him, i hate him. but suddenly, when i heard that he was sick, i almost cried! and i realized i have loved him too much, and i can't hate him anymore.

Yuichi Nakamaru
he's funny! he's the member of KAT-TUN

Yuichi Nakamura
i don't know. i like him because i watch princess D and kamen rider den-o XDD

Yukito Tsumi
(what? is it wrong if i love myself!?)

Labels: scream out, spam

'cedric? are you there?' asked Yuki, entered cedric's bedroom. 'Ced...?' he was stilled to see someone that he knew.
a teenage girl. With big green eyes and that blonde hair. unmistakable, it's Angela. she's not dead.

Angela did the same thing with Yuki. she was shocked. this is wrong. he's not able to see me! she thought herself. what should I do? Should I pretend as someone else?

before Angela could do something, Yuki pushed him to the wall and locked her movement. 'hi Angela,' he whispered into Angela's ear. his voice trembled. there were anger and resentment in his voice. 'there's a lot of things that i want to talk to you.'

'I-i..'

'Sssh.. it will be better if we go before he comes.'

* * *

his bell rang. Cedric wondered who came to his house this early morning. but he's too busy taking care of his business. so he decided to take care of his business first before opening the door for his guest.

'cedric!' his guest shouted. 'it's Yuki! Shall I come in?'

there was door-opened voice. Yuki must entered his house now. it's not good. Angela stilled in his bedroom. he ran to his bedroom. but when he arrived, there's no one. he was in panic.

Labels: story

Hi minna. I always think and think to change my life, but I just can't do it. Well, I think there's something wrong with myself that I can't change. I want to change myself. I have many chances to do it. But somehow I just can't.

It makes me sad, everytime I think about it. It feels like I judge myself.

But I know, that I'm not the only one who feel like that. Come on, there are many persons who wanna change their attitude but they just can't. Haha.

I remember. Someone had given me a letter. In that letter, she explained her regrets and promised me to stay with me everytime. To support me everytime I need her. To kiss and hug me everynight..

That time, I just threw the letter. I know her. She won't do such things for me. Haha.. But deep in my heart, I hoped she will prove it.

And you know what's next? Hahaha... just same like before. Just same like she never gives me that letter.

When I was a child, I respected her and love her so much. I don't know. Now, it likes a dream for me, that I had treated her as an angel.

Labels: problem in life

It has been a long time (for me). Suddenly i just decide to make my blog more serious. And i just decide to make it all in english. Hehe. Maybe there will be many mistakes when i use english but... yeah.. i will try my best.

As a new blog, i want to write about myself. No. I mean, I want to write about Yuki's self.

My name is Tsumi Yukito. In kanji it's 罪雪人. Yeah.. I know it's not kawaii or kakkoi at all. But I like it. Actually, it's not my name at all. It's name of one of character in one of my dreamy story.

The story is about a family who lived happily, until oneday, their house was burned. The parents of the family was dead, left their children. The first son was Tsumi Yukito, and his sister, Tsumi Mizuki.

Yuki was adopted by a Japanese family. He loved his family. Oneday, he and his family went to have a vacation to a beach. There, Yuki met 3 older children. They're Sharon, Cedric, and George. He made friend with them. And then 2 days later, a day after Yuki and his family returned to home, in the night about 7 o'clock, something happened. Some strangers came and killed all of the member of his family infront of his eyes. They also hurt him, but didn't kill him. He got shock and had trauma of bloody body.

Aftar that, Yuki was adopted by an English couple, Vows, and moved to their house. Vows was Sharon, Cedric, and George's family (Yuki was adopted because of them). But actually, Vows has an evil plan. They didn't want to adopted Yuki as a son, but as their servant. The fact was they sent the strangers to kill Yuki's family, so they could adopted him. They wanted to adopted him because they need a child to be a fighter in a dangerous game that they were playing.

That game could kill anyone that played in. But if they won, they would be given sooooooo much gold and glory. In a month, the fighters (about 3 -4 members) would live in somewhere and fought another team. The rest teams will be given the prize. With a lesser groups, the amount of the prize will increase. That's why each team always tried to kill the others.

To prepare for that game, Vows family (which was a family of adopted children) gave him hard exams. His brother, Cedric (yep, the one who met him at the beach) was the indirect trainer. The direct trainer was Angela, his another sister. She had to act she dislikes him, but actually, she loooooved him so much.

In the end of the game, Yuki ask Angela to die. And she accepted. Yuki got a freedom after won the game, and started a new life.

Well.. that's NOT the compelite story. Actually, the story is so so soo complicated. And I just couldn't explain it here. There are stories about his girlfriends, sister, brother, friends, family, and many things else. Maybe I'll show you later. Or you can just ask me. Because I don't write it, I only imagine it.

Oh yeah. Maybe I'll write it as a drabble, not as a serialize.

Btw, it's not the first time i publish this post. I just repost it to my blog.

Labels: story